AlienBeing.org was started in the 1990's in my mind, and finally introduced to the Web in 2007.
In the last ten years, I have accepted that I am on the Spectrum even though still interacting with people having high social skills. I have to be patient and hope that others have understanding for me. Some social situations are truly hard - when I am sitting at a table with highly social people and being overwhelmed by listening to the back and forth of group conversation.
A few new lessons - I have had more interaction with pets, especially dogs and I do believe pets are of help in building relation skills and accepting touch. I did not have a dog as a kid, and had only two cats for short periods of time.
I have not attended meetings with organizations for Autism & Aspergers. So my page is all based on my personal experience which is what I want because that is all that I can offer.
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AlienBeing.org is a resource for highly functioning adults having Autism Spectrum Disorders such as Asperger's or High Functioning Autism. The objective is to help adults to live as independently as possible, to be able to work and to fit within the social world. For example, it is useful for people who can apply themselves enough to complete sufficient schooling to attempt work. I am unable to comment confidently about situations where people are unable to work.
For me, the world operates at a faster pace than I like. While socially participating, I wear out faster than average to the point where the people see the frustration on my face, especially at a table of people talking around me. I was too slow to laugh and pick up what is going on. It is easier on-on-one than in a larger group.
I can learn but over a longer period of time requiring patience and dedication. Improvements can be made through practice and self awareness, and more fun can be had. You can be different but try as hard as possible to be different in a beneficial way to society.I have to work every day and slowing improve the condition of my mind like one conditions the body in a gym.. Studying various web sites, meeting the right people - I am conscious that work is being done on personal improvement programs for adults. It is a very new field, and a great opportunity for the next 20 years.
I remember getting the advice of a choice - should I just take an isolated computer programming job or work on my interpersonal skills and try to be normal. You are better off with the latter option, maximize your interpersonal skills to be "normal".
Thus, an autistic person should study their past and see if health issues prevented development at a key time. For me, I had ear infections as a baby, making me deaf at times. Thus, I missed the learning by osmosis at age 1-3. I am not claiming it is easy to make up lost time, but at least one can research how to duplicate child play. Health care in the early 1960's was just different.
I was intrigued about "Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation" in the news in March 2016. I am not risking it but I recommend you read everything you can find about the subject.
My strategy is to
1: Fix problems that are not directly autism but arose from bad habits developed due to your autism
2: Somehow improve your neurological prowess
To fix your bad habits - attack the edges of the problem, working on correctable weaknesses. Examples are: make voice less monotone with emphasis words such as front door, pronunciate consonants at end of words, somehow be aware of body position, breathing, head movements and eye contact; stretch mouth, clean teeth, maximize physical condition, healthy diet, go to bed early to maximize sleep.
Keeping a straight posture without being hunched over is a challenge when one works behind a computer. However, one's speaking voice is clearer and less likely to be trapped in the throat while standing up straight.
For me, I had poor osmosis of social skills learning as a baby - ages 1-3 in particular. I think you have to figure out how to catch up.
Point 2 is harder - helped by more social interaction. Isolation can result in social skills regression.
If you get part one - some social interactions say under 15 minutes in length can improve which is a start. Each person needs to know when they get tired after they start being in a group.
After clearing the rough edges, part 1 above, the person has to identify its potential. School is not necessarily social so an autistic person can get an advanced degree. Identify the potential of the person somehow, the point where neurology prevents the autistic person from being normal. Then, you are knowing yourself and your potential, you create a resume and work on getting a job and a career.
I assume family is your best resource, then friends, then somehow meeting strangers and making new friends. You have to like to so something and seek that career. You have to admit you are good at this and bad at something else. I would be good at numbers and accounting, bad at being a waiter and running around in a restaurant or being in a meeting with social interaction with six people, having to speak on my feet.
I agree with the concept of "Applied Bahavioral Analysis" - break down social interactions step by step, like watching every action in a TV comedy. Autism can use time and memory - alternative learning methods to osmosis or fast learning skills that smart non-autistic people learned on their own. Whether 10% or any percent actually "beat autism" is less important to me than alternative learning methods. Sometimes, I feel I beat autism - other moments - I still just miss signals other people can pick up.
Avoiding Meltdown:
The challenge in a conversation is making the comment that would offend someone. A conversation is hard - listening takes a lot of effort and often, I don't have the luxury to consider the other person's situation and context. I can sense something is wrong but I don't know why because when I made the statement, it did not appear to be a problem to me. Then the meltdown continues with visual frustration and bewilderment - what is going on? I have to retreat, be alone, buy time. These difficult encounters can happen in work or social life outside of work. You are better off doing things you like to do, most likely outside of the most socially sophisticated circles.
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I feel people under the Spectrum need to hear from others within the Spectrum, not be lectured by someone who cannot put themselves in your shoes, speaking to you theoretically. I have to help others like others helped me. It is amazing that I can put up a website and communicate with people from all over, compared to what was available 25 years ago.
The emphasis is on autism in the workplace. I do not advise on childhood therapy and brain science, or dating (I never married, not sure if I can advise). I had childhood therapy, and try to keep up with developments online.
I learned to work from a family who appreciated hard work, and was able to develop memorization skills to eventually become an accountant, passing two sets of national examinations. I found out that social situations, such as dinner with a group of six people, sitting still at a table, laughing when others laugh, transitioning trains of thought, I struggled and found out I was near the bottom of the population.
Socialization, like everything else, takes hard work and concentration. You will be tired at the end of each day, yawning. Socializing can require being uncomfortable - halting and confused when shifting thoughts. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't and people catch on that I have a "problem" and thus do not fit in.
I am in my 50's, I tried management jobs when I was 33-34, was fired, told I did not fit in, having an "interpersonal skills problem." I discovered Autism after reading "Diagnosing Learning Disorders" by Bruce Pennington. The early 1990's there was the DSM that defined the intermediate forms of autism. I found out in 1998 that I had been diagnosed as an autistic child at age 2, but I was never told about it and it was assumed it could be outgrown.
I am one of those people who experienced a life track that is not possible today because I would have been given a label as a child and would have gone to a college with more structure and forgiving for the autistic. I will talk about this more at the time my identity is revealed.
A fun project I am doing now is researching my geneology. It is fun to learn a new fact - a name of a great-great grandparent, or the town they were from in the old country, or the history of the old country, or was one side nobility? You can meet members of your family who you did not know, and want to know people you had nothing to do with until now. This search can take unexpected turns. Good project for someone autistic because you can learn concrete facts, be a detective.
I did not know myself when I failed. I turned people off by being opinionated, yawning, speaking too long and in a monotone, being a poor listener,
being awkward. I got frustrated, I could not concentrate, eventually I was fired. I needed a more structured, behind-the-scenes job.
At times, I can appear non-autistic because one-on-one, I can function almost as a non-autistic person. But social situations over a half hour with very sharp people can expose my condition, which happened to me.
I really don't want to feel like a victim. I just have to find my role given the way my brain is wired. I can find opportunities that others don't see or bother with, and take as long as necessary to get the work done, with alienbeing.org as an example.
The site was founded in early March 2007.
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